publication date: Apr 23, 2007
While we spend a great part of our lives trying
to prevent accidents from happening, it’s a sad fact of life that in the UK
three in every 100,00 children aged between
one and 14 die every year because of them, 120,000 are
admitted to hospital and more than
2,000,000 attend
A & E departments in
hospital.
Whether an
accident is
serious or quite
minor, it can be
upsetting for the child concerned as well as the rest of the
family. Although the
physical effects may heal quickly, the
emotional reactions may be more
long-term and children need
help in coming to terms with their
experience and
feelings.
Remember too that
siblings, although not directly involved in an accident, may be just as
affected by it.
Children under 12 may:
- cry a lot;
- feel sad;
- demand more attention;
- be jealous of other children;
- have tantrums or be aggressive;
- feel embarrassed - especially if they have scars.
You may find they now
wet the bed, have
nightmares, are unable to
sleep or want to sleep with you. There may be
changes in the way they
play, for instance they may dig out toys they haven’t touched for years or they may be
clumsy or unusually
withdrawn.
Older children may:
- feel sad or guilty;
- have mood swings;
- feel shame or embarrassment about the way they are feeling;
- fear death;
- become more reckless;
- resist authority;
- refuse to go to school.
All age groups may feel they are continually “reliving” the accident.
What you can do to help
- Listen to your child’s questions and try to answer as honestly as you can, involving him in any discussions and decisions that have to be made.
- Talk about the accident if your child wants to.
- Stick as far as possible to your normal routines so your child will feel safe and secure at home.
- Play with him - children work through their feelings and things that have happened to them in their play. Encourage making up stories, dressing up and imaginative play and art, all of which will allow him to express his emotions.
- Discipline as you normally would when necessary although you may need to be more flexible for a little while.
Helping older children and adolescents
- Provide love and support and reassurance that their feelings are natural.
- Let them know that it’s ok for them to cry and express their emotions.
- Encourage them not to make major decisions while they are still working through their reactions.
- Acknowledge the importance of the accident to him - however small it may seem to you.
Remember:
- You may need help for yourself so don’t be afraid to ask for help, initially through your GP.
- Your children - especially older ones - may choose to talk to a relative, teacher or friend. Don’t feel slighted or upset be thankful that they have such good relationships.
