publication date: Aug 7, 2007
Ain't Misbehavin', like any
child development book, works best as a mixture of
cautionary tale and
empathic provider of
answers. As someone who has
experienced the
occasional mild
tantrum, a chapter entitled "
extreme tantrums" is both a
chilling foretaste of things to come and also a
comforting confirmation that things aren't all that bad.
Behaviour is such an
emotive subject because it
provides an instant,
unfiltered comment on our
parenting skills, for better or for worse,
right or
wrong. Be it amongst,
family, friends or
total strangers, there's still a very
strong bias against
badly behaved children and, by association, their
parents.
Crucially the book is
not all about
your child; behaviour is
learnt, and there's plenty in here to
demonstrate how our own
behaviour filters down to that of our
child, here Antrobus's
clinical and
counselling experience provides lots of
examples. Her tone is not
terrifyingly draconian - even if you were to
follow all the
advice in here to the
letter, friends are
unlikely to start commenting on your
ultra-strict style of parenting.
Few
parents will have the
time to read this book
right through all at once. I, for one, am not looking for a
comprehensive "manual of managing behaviour" - what I really want is a
few tips when the
going gets
tough or a
new problem rears its ugly head (chapters like
"swearing for effect" and "
hitting, biting and kicking" hammer this
point home). There's a lot of
good advice in here, most of which is
written in a style that is easy to
commit to memory - after all there's no
reaching for a book when your
darling child is in full-on
meltdown mode.
I read
Ain't Misbehavin' following days that had been
particularly challenging and my parenting
skills had been
tested to full and on those
blissful days when
family life seemed
straightforward. I was struck by the
positive tone on each
occasion and found
useful strategies and
tips. Quite simply, I felt
more positive as a result of picking up Ain't Misbehavin' and that makes it a
worthwhile read for me.
Laverne Antrobus is a
consultant child and
educational psychologist.
If you would like
to order this book from
Amazon please
click the link below:
Ain't Misbehavin: How to Understand Your Child and Get the Best from Them
