publication date: Feb 19, 2013
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author/source: Lesley Lodge
Tamsin Coates, the author of
Meanwhile I Keep Dancing, is a
Speech and Language Therapist whose two sons were diagnosed early on as
deaf – a diagnosis that came out of the blue, with - obviously – a huge
emotional impact on both parents. She explains how it all started with one child’s suspected “
glue ear”, a commonplace enough problem. Tests when one son was 18 months old and the other only three months led to
hearing aids but a “crossroads” decision was to follow when it became evident that
hearing aids didn’t work for the younger son: should he have the operation to fit a
cochlear implant?
As
Tamsin Coates explains, to
parents whose children are not deaf, this decision seems like a no-brainer. But it’s not. In fact
implants are hugely controversial within the
deaf community. It is after all
surgery to the head, with attendant risks and possible side-effects such as
facial nerve damage. Then there’s the whole question of identity for the child and the dangers of seeing a
deaf child as a “damaged” child rather than a different one. To add to the pressure for parents, that’s a decision that (for
medical reasons) cannot be left until later.
Meanwhile I Keep Dancing not only discusses both
points of view but also sets out the facts and relates the personal reasoning processes which she went through and the many
setbacks and challenges that she and other parents of
deaf children went through. There’s plenty of
practical information (the dangers for small children of
hearing aid batteries, for example) and examples of useful routines around
school showers, swimming and so on. There’s an important lesson in one example of a friend’s family, where
hearing problems were mistaken for and mis-categorised as
autistic spectrum difficulties.
Meanwhile I Keep Dancing contains a number of photographs of the boys at different stages, showing both their
implants and their
hearing aids while they are enjoying various ordinary activities. There’s a separate chapter towards the end of the book, packed with
factual information, charts and diagrams for those who want more detail. But the bigger value of the book, as I see it, is in how the
writer’s own optimism and determination shine through. The emphasis is on
compassion – not pity. For me, the spirit of the book is encapsulated in a comment the author makes early on: on receiving a
diagnosis of deafness in a child we need to “relax and appreciate these new surroundings, and we have to enjoy every silly moment we can with our children.”
PWT rating:♥♥♥♥♥ Meanwhile I Keep Dancing
, published by
Action Deafness Books, is available from Amazon.
