I suppose the most striking thing I felt about
It’s No Big Deal Really is that it all seems so self-evident. Nearly ten years after I was divorced, most of the lessons contained in these pages have been ones I have lived with for some time.
Of course you never speak ill of the ex, or compete with them, and of course splitting up is a sadness that will never really leave. Any intelligent person will make sure that their relationship with their child remains good, despite sometimes deeply hurtful behaviour.
We all know that the child’s rights are paramount and that those rights include not being used as a pawn in a nasty battle between adults.
Or do we? Daytime TV (caught, of course, by accident) often reveals very different sensibilities. In that world, children are pawns, partners are totally culpable and ripe for punishment. These, perhaps, are the people for whom It’s No Big Deal Really should be compulsory reading.
However, there’s the rub. I think that people who buy It’s No Big Deal Really will be those who do want to run their affairs (no pun intended) properly. These people might benefit from some from of the insights here, and their children might end up less confused by events as a result.
There are good sections on practicalities both during and after the divorce. These would be useful reference for separating couples, who may be considering just how far apart they should live (not very) and how to divide up the children’s things (with consultation).
However, most of the people who need the advice and wisdom in these pages are not going to buy It’s No Big Deal Really. This is a great pity, as if everyone were to plan their divorces with this book by their side, the lives of their children could go a whole lot more smoothly.
It’s No Big Deal Really is published by Vision Paperbacks. To order a copy from Amazon please click the link below:
It's No Big Deal Really: A Parent's Guide to Making Divorce Easy for Children
